2 weeks into Summer Vacation

Summer vacation could be so much better.  How come the kids can't run around getting all kinds of exercise by playing and having fun with friends.  There are too many restrictions because of busy roads and heat, and jerk people that make it so kids can't wander without adult supervision.  The kids have no "free" areas to explore and let their minds go with.  I have to provide entertainment other than media and video games.  Some have such a hard time being responsible to help cleaning up after themselves--namely Rubie.  When she plays she has to get so much stuff out and then acts like it is the end of the world when she is asked to clean up or put things away.  I feel like a constant ogre because I am constantly on her to keep her room clean or just put her stuff away or do her reading or math or anything.  I am really trying not to make her do too much.  I really struggle to know what the right balance is of requiring her to do things and just giving her free time.  She is so whiny and rude to me too.  I don't want it to be like that and I really am trying.

The latest updates for us:  kids finished the school year.  Eric did such an amazing job with academics and behavior in his class.  Rubie did well in most areas.  She struggled some with behavior and with math.  She was actually starting to do better, but then summer came.  And now, her behavior and attitude is not very good again.  Rubie is taking a tennis class for the summer.  She is also still in Brain Balance, I think at least through July.  I'm really holding out for a keyboard for her to get started in piano lessons too.  Eric doesn't have much this month.  He is really good at doing his jobs, reading, math, and he just completed a craft.  He loves playing with friends and will do what I ask to have rewards.  I really want to potty train Sam.  Of course I have nothing to do with it.  He does not want to do it.  Finally today I promised this big toy he wants if he would go one whole day with only going in the toilet.  He has not done it yet.  I'm a terrible parent.  I don't know how to get my daughter to obey or potty train the 3 year old.  I can't keep a clean or straight house, I can't provide anything. I suck at this life.  I guess I'm supposed learn loads of humility and how to submit to the children with love and joy and cheerfulness.

Scott has less than 2 weeks of his job left with Upper Limit Aviation.  He starts a new job with a company called Five9.  Their product is a call center software.  He is very excited to be working for an established company that seems to adhere to normal, regular business practices.  He will be taking a cut in salary.  Because of that we are unable to provide tuition for American Heritage this year.  I am sick about it, I even just was offered a job as the Lunch Lead.  It gives us a 1/4 tuition credit.  But that wouldn't kick in until September and we cannot make the tuition even starting now.  Financially it is the better decision.  We are hopeful Scott will have opportunities for career moves with this new company that will provide more income and allow us to get out of debt, get a home, and provide tuition for American Heritage.

There's got to be better answers for parenting.  I suck at parenting Rubie.  Sam and Eric are just good for me.  Rubie just pushes me to the edge and sometimes over.  If she does not have her room clean by the time we go to the pool, she is staying home by herself to get it done.  I also know that is totally not responsible to leave my 7 year old home alone while I take Sam and Eric to the pool.  But why do the rest of us have to suffer for her.  There are no babysitters, and that is a reward anyway.  See I am too dumb to know what to do.  I pray and pray and I still can't figure it out.